What's New With You?

well...i know i promised a looooooooong time ago that i'd update this thing. but life just doesn't slow down!! plus facebook takes up a lot of time! ;) but, for all you who still don't have facebook...in case you didn't know...

I'M COURTING! :-D

david fountain and i have been courting for...um...six weeks! we have spent that time trying to get to know each other and determine God's will for our lives and whether that includes marriage (did i just type that?! :). during this time we've gotten lots of coffee, met tons of each other's relatives (poor guy! ;), walked around half of orlando (haha!), and gone on a road trip to georgia (shout out to all my people there ;). it's soooo hard to believe it's been six weeks already!

lots of you don't know who he is yet so i'll give you a quick run down (which i know he's going to love). david is 35 and the second youngest of five kiddos (his twin brother daren is 7 minutes younger than him...apparently this is of GREAT importance to know! ;). he grew up just outside of atlanta and most of his family still live in the same area where they grew up - so cool! david went to lee university and then lived and worked in nashville for about ten years. he moved to orlando four years ago and attended a church in the area until he happened upon metro life church. he ended up in the same singles care group i was in and i apparently was pretty rude to him when he first tried to talk to me... ::sigh:: i thiiiiiiiiiiiiink he's forgiven me. :-D we worked together some on the Yes2Marriage campaign (actually he totally rescued me in helpin' out last minute). and then we started hangin out more and...well...fast forward to february 10 which was our first official date. :)

that's super short and quick - so sorry!! and, for those of you who don't know ME....read my blog. ;)

in these six weeks i have learned soooooooo much about relationships and i think i've put david through quite a bit already. :-D it's been a lot of fun and i told him this past weekend that my weekends just keep getting funner (don't be hatin' the word, i just made it one!). i am so grateful for this opportunity to seek God's will and to be in prayer over something like this with someone like he is. we would appreciate your prayers and are very grateful for your encouragement.

this concludes our update for the moment...

Captive Life

Ok, so I know I'm not doing a good job keeping this up-to-date. But I've been super busy recently. I promise I will update about the bf...soon. ;)

For now, I found this poem I wrote, titled "Captive Life," when I was really struggling. It was a very difficult season of my life, one where I was much more apt to despair than to trust God. While writing it I remember wanting to leave it on a hopeless note, which is how I felt. But I couldn't. Knowing the Truth, I decided to end it like the Psalmist - believing in faith that there is One Who WILL lift us from the pit. I didn't see how back then...but now, His hand was all over me. Hallelujah!

Captive Life
Silently, quietly, it comes.

From where exactly, I do not know.

But it is there – from deep within;

The pain pushes, always pushes,

Begging for freedom.

And yet…

There is no freedom, no release.

As the silent screams erupt,

Suddenly I am drowning…gasping…drowning.

The pain has once again turned on me,

Becoming enemy–never friend,

And it pushes back inside

Squeezing through every pore and blocking

Sweet, precious air, until there is

None.

And then, just as I sink below –

Deep under the pitch-black sludge of agony,

The rain comes.

At first it seems my rescuer.

My starving mind gasps for the

Delicious thought that I will be saved.

But it is not to be.

The beguiling smile of the soothing downpour

Rips off its mask and pierces like

A thousand knives, sharpened to perfection.

As they stab my skin, driving me down,

All thoughts of sweet salvation are

Gone.

Realization sets in, dawning upon me,

As awareness settles over the prey

That soon

His predator will win and feast upon his kill.

Now emptiness–black, nothing, numbness–

Intoxicates as resignation falls upon me…

And I surrender.

One last breath and it will be done,

No more torture or despair

To endure, to bear.

But then…

The darkness that defined black itself

Was suddenly divided

As Light ruptured through

And began its liberation.

Gradually, gently, yet with all authority,

Light released me from the surrounding

Filth–the mire that had nearly got victory.

Lifted onto Solid Ground,

Hope is infused into each part –

Healing every wound, silencing screams…

Restoring to praise and tears now of joy.

(Psalm 42)